"I said, 'Kiss me, you're beautiful; these are truly the last days.' You grabbed my hand, and we fell into it, like a daydream, or a fever."
-Godspeed You Black Emperor, "Dead Flag Blues"
January 16. Stray links, starting with Inconvenient truths about the L.A. fires. They're not wildfires that swallowed the city. They're classic urban fires caused by extreme hot winds combined with buildings and landscaping that are not fire-resistant.
Why has it been so hard to arrest South Korea's impeached president? Because his private security officers are loyal to him and not to the constitution. This is something I learned from David Graeber's book The Dawn of Everything: that ancient "kings" were not like modern heads of state. They were warlords who only had power within a few hundred yards of wherever they actually were. As modern political systems break down, we're going to move back in that direction.
A thread in Ask Old People, Have you had family or friends who chose not to "fight" cancer?
Great stuff in this 1979 Al Pacino interview. My favorite bit:
When you're acting for a camera, it keeps taking and never giving back. When you perform with a live audience, the audience comes back to you, so that you and the audience are giving to each other, in a sense. It's an extraordinary thing. It's wild turf up there. The time I was doing Pavlo Hummel in Boston, I made connection with a pair of eyes in the audience and I thought, This is incredible, these eyes are penetrating me. I went through the whole performance just relating to those eyes, giving the whole thing to those eyes. I couldn't wait at curtain to see who it was. When curtain call finally came, I looked in the direction of those eyes and it was a seeing eye dog. Belonged to a blind girl. I couldn't get over it - the compassion and intensity and the understanding in those eyes... and it was a dog. What a profession!
Finally, Big Blood have a really interesting new album, Electric Voyeur. It's all played on handmade electronics that they've been building and practicing on for ten years. At the same time, it still sounds like Big Blood, with a clear evolutionary thread from recent albums, and from two older songs, "But I Studied" and "Sidewalk-Walk/Un-Nole". There's also an instrumental version, which almost sounds like a different album. My favorite track, from the main album, is Who Lives. This is my giant Big Blood page.
January 13. Long article in the Atlantic, The Anti-Social Century. It's about how we've been getting more isolated and how it's bad for our mental health. Smart phones and Covid have made it worse, but the trend started more than 50 years ago with TV and cars.
Related, another thread removed from Ask Reddit, containing many good answers to the question, Why do you think so many people are depressed?
And a quote from a book I'm rereading, and still my favorite book of social philosophy, Tools for Conviviality by Ivan Illich:
The re-establishment of an ecological balance depends on the ability of society to counteract the progressive materialization of values. Otherwise man will find himself totally enclosed within his artificial creation, with no exit. Enveloped in a physical, social, and psychological milieu of his own making, he will be a prisoner in the shell of technology, unable to find again the ancient milieu to which he was adapted for hundreds of thousands of years. The ecological balance cannot be re-established unless we recognize again that only persons have ends and that only persons can work toward them. Machines only operate ruthlessly to reduce people to the role of impotent allies in their destructive progress.
January 8. I'm starting to like January. October is still the best month, but January is when everyone hibernates after the holidays, and if your job isn't too taxing, you can get into some personal obsessions. I've been playing lots of solo games of Spirit Island. Anyway, a few more happy links, starting with another about the new year, Kakizome, Japanese way of new-years resolution. Instead of setting exact goals, you set a theme. "New Year's resolution feels like a path set on a map, and the theme feels like a compass."
Seattle Piano Recycling gives unwanted pianos new life. Basically, when they're hired to take pianos to the dump, they store them, make minor repairs, and then sell them for the price of delivery.
China has confirmed that solar panels in the desert are good for desert ecology.
Living proof that you can spend money on the poor: Utopia comes to Mexico City. "Utopia" is an acronym for putting nice public facilities in the poorest neighborhoods. This could never happen in the USA because the second poorest people demand that the poorest people be worse off.
January 5. After three negative posts in a row, here are some positive links for the new year. Quiet Mind is a nice explanation of mindfulness/meditation. "This is not rocket science. It is our own mind! The abilities to walk upright and to use symbolic language were attained by proto-humans with effort over many generations. Learning to use the mind well will occur in the space between thoughts."
From The Whippet, The Animal Crossing / Stardew Valley model for NY goals. The idea is to gamify personal improvement, but do it in a low-stress way.
Related, a sub-thread in a Reddit thread about health tips, Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly
From the Psychonaut subreddit, Shrooms showed me my "pipes were clean"
The "pipe" in this analogy represents our capacity to let emotions flow. If your pipes are clogged - if you have unresolved issues, repressed feelings, or mental blockages - those emotions can come out muddy or overwhelming when shrooms turn on the tap. But if you've been doing inner work and clearing out old debris, the flow can be more crystalline and uplifting.
And two more Reddit threads. I don't know what's up with the Ask Reddit mods, that they consistently remove the most interesting threads. What's the most meaningful expression of love you've ever seen or experienced? And What's the one random genetic trait you lucked out on? This is the one I most envy:
Got the joie de vivre. Life fuckin rules, even when it doesn't. My dad has it, his parents had it, their parents had it, etc. Honestly feels like a superpower to find joy in things every day, especially in the world we live in now.
December 30. There's a lot of sympathy for Luigi Mangione, which I share. But I want to go darker, and sympathize with someone whose crime was unjustifiable, but not meaningless, Abundant Life school shooter Natalie "Samantha" Rupnow. I imagine that school shooters share my sense of the wrongness of this world, and the role of school in breaking our spirits to make us part of it. But they usually don't explain themselves. The best thing I've read on the subject is this 2004 essay, Every Five Seconds an Inkjet Printer Dies Somewhere.
"The simplest Surrealist action," wrote the leader of the Surrealists in 1930, "is to go out on the street with two revolvers in one's fists and blindly shoot down as many as possible in the crowd."
Rupnow, a rare girl shooter, also left a rare explanation, a "manifesto" titled War Against Humanity. You can see screenshots in this Twitter thread, and I don't see anyone saying anything nice about it. At worst, it reminds me of incel shooter Elliot Rodger, a troubled person trying too hard to be evil. While insisting she's different, she falls into negativity in a normal way.
But it also contains some nuggets and some honesty. I love this sentence: "This situation and the situation of a lifetime is a get the fuck out moment and don't come back." And surely we've all felt like this: "I hate looking at some of the people in the society, and seeing what they are and what they do with their lives." This bit is pure comedy: "If only some days we could do a public execution, that would be gladly needed. I wouldn't mind throwing some stones at idiots or even watching from the far back when they get hanged." Admit it, did you smile?
At the end is some teenage Nietzsche: "The wolf hunts its prey and continues life with no other bruises or scars. There is no predator and prey anymore, it is all filth walking. There's nothing more with filth, it simply can't die or make hunts real if all they want is value."
Wolves get bruises and scars of course. "Other" means non-physical, and it's true, being human is a decades long ordeal of emotional and psychic bruises and scars, a far outlier among all life on Earth. If you replace "filth" with "industrial society" or "disenchanted modernity", and add "quantitative" to value, you can see that she's only lacking clever words.
This couldn't be said better: "Death is something most people need to embrace and accept instead of running away from it." And this is poetry, and if you understand it, the motive:
I hate humanity for forcing me into this little hole
I once had this time when I was young
You made me dig for so long and now I can't leave it
December 26. This is our apartment on Christmas. We have two fake fires, and they're fake in completely different ways. In fact, this photo contains only three things not made in a factory: a small houseplant, a heavily pruned dead tree, and on top of the tree, a handmade Santa ornament passed down from people born in the 1910s. My life is good, but I wonder how long humans can continue to live at this level of artificiality, before we crack.
December 23. Keeping it light for the holidays, more music, starting with one more Christmas song (thanks Eric) with a great video, Poly Styrene - Black Christmas.
Freaky Wilderness is a band with a sound ranging from stoner rock to 70s rock, and this is their first full length album, released just this month on Bandcamp, Immeasurable Heaven
And I have a new Spotify playlist, Classic Rock 100. That's 100 songs, and I love working with limits and making hard choices about which songs make the cut. This is my only playlist that's slanted toward popularity. Mostly these are overplayed songs that I'm still not tired of.
I also decided not to have any songs in common between Classic Rock and my other playlists. So it ate one of my 70s playlists, and I renamed the other two, more accurately, as Soft 70s, and renamed my two 80s playlists as Early 80s. Links to all playlists are on my songs page.
December 20. A few links. The Whippet #183 has a cool video about babies who are not afraid of snakes, and a helpful bit about how to tell the difference between intuition and anxiety:
Anxiety tends to feel one or more of: rushed, urgent, and in the form of questions rather than facts ("did I lock the door??" not "I forgot to lock the door")
It often skips between objects to worry about ("is there someone behind that car? or in the alley up ahead? or behind me? what was that sound?" - that's free-floating anxiety looking for something to attach to).
Intuition tends to come as a calm, settled certainty - calm even about objectively terrifying things - and focused on a single, specific piece of information.
Noah sends an essay he wrote about the modern loss of community, which he correctly blames on the built environment and especially cars. See also Ivan Illich on Cars.
A thread in the Reality Shifting subreddit, Does anyone else feel like something's off? Personally I don't get those kinds of feelings, but my intellectual curiosity about weird stuff leads me to expect a lot more of it. Related: Peak sunspot activity expected in 2025
And some music. I keep putting off my own Christmas playlist for another year, but here's a great one, Christmas Apocalypse 2024.
December 14. Quick note on the mystery drones. They are a manifestation of a level of reality that we don't understand. Like all UFO flaps, the sightings will stop and will mostly never be explained. The phenomenon always appears through the cultural filters of the time. See the Mystery airships of the 1890s.
December 12. Quick loose end from last week. Alex wonders what kind of shoes I wear to encourage walking on the balls of my feet. You don't have to go all the way to articulated toes. My favorite shoes lately are Camper Peu Cami, which have a good wide toe box and a minimal sole. They're expensive new but affordable on eBay. And a few links:
China Completes Massive Green Belt Around Taklamakan Desert
An interesting article on Colour in the Middle Ages
A thread from the Psychonaut subreddit, For those who hung up the phone: What was the message?
Related: a YouTube interview, Exploring Nonduality with Rupert Spira. It's long and he repeats himself a lot, so I just read the transcript, which has some good stuff. Edited excerpt:
It's like the space in this room. Once it knows itself, it doesn't feel separate from the space outside the room, or indeed the space in your kitchen. From the point of view of the space there's one space so likewise from the point of view of awareness there's just itself, infinite without borders and without divisions. There's no separation, there's no otherness in it, and this absence of otherness is the experience that we refer to as as love. That's why love is sometimes said to be the nature of reality.
December 10. Yesterday I posted a new instructional video, Piano Polyrhythms and Phasing. I don't know how prolific YouTubers do it, or for that matter, teachers. It took me hours and hours to work out how to present the material, and then a bunch of takes of the video before I got one that was adequate. Polyrhythms are my piano obsession, and the one place where I might have something to teach an actual good player.
December 9. My favorite blog, The Whippet, is back from an eight month break, with #181: Much better than horses. There's a nice section about tautological phrases, like "It is what it is," and how the usefulness of these phrases refutes the reductionist theory of language. "The meaning of a sentence is not the meaning of all the individual words put together." The title of the page is about mules, who are superior to horses in almost every way. Quoting a Reddit post:
But mules are not stubborn simply because they feel like; they refuse to do things if they think it's a bad idea, or if they do not trust the human commanding them. I think it's really interesting that for many centuries, humans have been able to get horses (and humans, for that matter) to charge into battle to meet violent deaths. You simply can't get a mule to do that, because mules know better.
And a Reddit thread with lots of good stories, What's the strangest but completely legitimate reason you've ever made a decision?
December 5. Back to doom, starting with two Reddit sub-threads, about ocean fisheries collapsing and electrical linemen retiring.
On the level of political culture, I think Biden's pardon of his son, and the assassination of that health insurance executive, are part of the same trend, and I don't think that trend is moral decline -- as if industrial civilization was ever highly moral.
The trend is that the sphere of public spectacle is now unabashedly Machiavellian. Pundits are worried that this pardon might set a bad precedent, as if Trump would do any fewer pardons because of the shining example of Joe Biden. For fifty years the American left has tried to take the moral high ground, and in all that time they've had solid wins on only two issues, LGBT rights and weed legalization, on both of which they normalized behaviors that used to be considered immoral.
I see little sympathy for the dead CEO, and many jokes. They should look for someone who paid for private health insurance and was denied coverage -- that will narrow the field of suspects to almost all Americans. Or maybe he didn't really get shot, because the bullet wound was a pre-existing condition. A Hacker News comment:
Always seemed pretty strange to me that you can build and oversee an organization widely perceived (whether fairly or not) as evil, host what those evil-perceivers will view as Bad Rich Guy Conference in public, in a country where anyone can get as many guns as they want, and there isn't more violence like this. Seems like an unstable operating point for a society.
December 3. Continuing on death, I do a lot of things to put it off, and these are my top eight health practices, starting with the least controversial.
1) Sugar bad, fiber good. These two go together because fiber mimimizes the toxicity of sugar. 2) Drink mostly water. I drink tap water with an under-sink carbon block filter to take out the chlorine. 3) Avoid highly processed foods. We don't know exactly how, but they're definitely connected to the obesity epidemic. If the ingredients list is longer than it is wide, it's probably bad for you.
4) Walk a lot. A little known reason this is good for you, is that your calf muscles pump lymph fluid, which balances and cleans your body. I think this has something to do with restless legs syndrome. I also wear shoes that allow me to walk on the balls of my feet. It's less efficient than heel-toe, but it's a better calf workout and I believe that it's better for my joints.
5) Somewhere I read that the best detox is a very deep outbreath. That's probably not true, but I tried it, squeezing hard to the bottom of my lungs, and it sure feels like a detox. At first I always cough, as my windpipe tastes the bad air at the bottom. After four or five purges, the breath goes smoothly. I try to do this once or twice a day, and since I started doing it, I have not developed any crud in my lungs, even during my last round of Covid.
6) I believe that grass fed butter is the healthiest fat, and I eat a lot of it. Coconut and avocado oil are probably also good, and olive oil is good if it's not fake. The worst fat is anything partially hydrogenated, especially cottonseed, which is full of free radicals. The second worst, I believe, is the industrial blend of sunflower-safflower-canola that is common in highly processed foods.
7) Get some sun. I believe the present sun phobia will go the way of fat phobia as the evidence accumulates. This is a good article with plenty of science, Is Sunscreen the New Margarine? It's still important to avoid burning, but in summer I use hats and sleeves rather than sunscreen, and in winter I do 5-10 minutes of sunbathing on every sunny day.
8) Every chance I get, I walk barefoot in dewy grass. I believe that it's good for my immune system, and it also provides electrical grounding.
November 29. I have a new Spotify playlist. It's a funeral playlist, so I should explain why I intend to live at least another 20 years: I need to finish two novels, I don't want to abandon my friends and family, I don't want to give satisfaction to my enemies, I want to see more of the apocalypse, and there are still a lot of psychedelics I want to do.
Anyway, most of the songs are just personal favorites that would fit at a funeral or wake, but there are some objectively great funeral songs, like Nick Drake - Saturday Sun and The Kinks - Strangers
November 27. Yesterday I had some cool synchronicity. Right after getting high, I was walking through the Seattle Center, and in front of the autistic fiddler was a guy prancing around and angrily ranting to his phone in a language that sounded like French. Obviously he was making a selfie video, and as I made my way around him, he turned so that I was in the background of the shot, and among the string of words I heard "Ey Prieur".
If I were a paranoid schizophrenic, I'd think I was at the center of a dark conspiracy. If I were a physicalist, I'd say it was meaningless, because my god, meaningless chance, could totally pull that off. Instead I figured I was close to the veil of the interconnectedness of all things, and fate was winking at me.
November 25. The other night I had insomnia and it was the best thing ever. Just chilling in silent darkness, reveling in having nothing to do, feeling the glow of my body, it was so good I didn't want to fall asleep and miss it. I listened to the siren song of tinnitus and wished the night would never end. Now I'm wondering, does that count as meditation?